Brought to us by GRATEFUL PALATE, a company I will talk about after the wine...
I first encountered this BITCH a couple years ago at Greenblatt’s on Sunset. I asked the wine merchants what they thought was the best bottle for around ten bucks and they started foaming at the mouth pushing the BITCH on me.
I loved the bottle label, and got a kick out of the name, but I wasn’t really buying wine, just waiting for my corn beef sandwich and Matzo ball soup, to go. For those of you that don’t know, Greenblatts is a top notch Delicatessen and wine shop here in the city of Angels.
So I finally got myself a bottle of the BITCH for $10.99. It’s got a twist top, pink like the label, with a heart and a dagger running through it… Interesting for those who find that kind of thing interesting…
I’m gonna pour the wine now….
Holy smokes... Right away the color grabs me. It’s hot pink- a hot translucent pink. It’s pink like the label, pink like plastic water guns, and pink like the lollipops at your local bank. It’s pink like that bitch’s lipstick, the bitch that was your date for the 8th grade dance. She smiled at your parents, pinned a pink rose on your lapel, and then made out with Jimmy Thompson while slow dancing to AMERICAN PIE. I’ve looked up Thompson and I can’t find him, which leads me to believe that he isn’t quite the ART STAR that he was in Junior high… Meanwhile, the BITCH (whose name I will not divulge) wears her lipstick several shades darker and is a published therapist living in a condo on Central Park West…
At any rate, the wine is pink; pink like lots of things… You get the picture…
Let’s see how the BITCH smells…
I first encountered this BITCH a couple years ago at Greenblatt’s on Sunset. I asked the wine merchants what they thought was the best bottle for around ten bucks and they started foaming at the mouth pushing the BITCH on me.
I loved the bottle label, and got a kick out of the name, but I wasn’t really buying wine, just waiting for my corn beef sandwich and Matzo ball soup, to go. For those of you that don’t know, Greenblatts is a top notch Delicatessen and wine shop here in the city of Angels.
So I finally got myself a bottle of the BITCH for $10.99. It’s got a twist top, pink like the label, with a heart and a dagger running through it… Interesting for those who find that kind of thing interesting…
I’m gonna pour the wine now….
Holy smokes... Right away the color grabs me. It’s hot pink- a hot translucent pink. It’s pink like the label, pink like plastic water guns, and pink like the lollipops at your local bank. It’s pink like that bitch’s lipstick, the bitch that was your date for the 8th grade dance. She smiled at your parents, pinned a pink rose on your lapel, and then made out with Jimmy Thompson while slow dancing to AMERICAN PIE. I’ve looked up Thompson and I can’t find him, which leads me to believe that he isn’t quite the ART STAR that he was in Junior high… Meanwhile, the BITCH (whose name I will not divulge) wears her lipstick several shades darker and is a published therapist living in a condo on Central Park West…
At any rate, the wine is pink; pink like lots of things… You get the picture…
Let’s see how the BITCH smells…
This 2007 Grenache smells as young as it is. Tart with lychee, caramelized sugar, hints of clove, bitter cherries and grapefruit. It’s tight. A bouquet of roses and geraniums waft in the background. Very inviting…
Now to the taste…
Wow. This is different. So fresh, light, and fruity. It’s quite tasty. The BITCH must be loved by bitches the world over. It’s sweet, but not too sweet. It’s crisp and fresh.
There’s some surprising body, too- a nice fleshiness that holds this skinny bitch together.
The tastes of wild strawberries, kirshwasser (cherry brandy), red licorice, and pink lollypops are followed with a nice dry and bitter potpourri in the finish.
With all of these interesting flavor notes, however, the wine suffers from an unripe tartness. Maybe that’s part of the glory of this grape… I’m thinking it would be good with Jane Fonda diet food from the 1980s, like bologna slices rolled around globs of cottage cheese.
Overall, it’s just too much of a tart, hard candy bitch for my blood. But for those that like crisp, light, and fruity red wines, there is something to it... There is flavor and finish. A nice aperitif, but maybe not such a great bottle of wine to break bread with.
In the post PC and post feminist spirit of the day, I’m just gonna come out and say it again... The BITCH is for BITCHES, but no doubt interesting BITCHES… and with 15% alcohol content, it’s guaranteed to loosen bitches up, too… So have a glass…
I know that all women don’t like light and fruity wines, but anyone who has worked behind a bar as much as I have will agree that many of them do... Meanwhile, my mom is a die-hard Cab and Syrah drinker… The chewier, the better…
Back to the wine….
Grenache is not an easy grape to grow. Often blended with wines in Spain and the Southern Rhone, to “brighten them up”... It’s mainly in Australia that the Grenache has taken in such a way that it produces wines that hold their own as either the dominant grape in a blend or as in the case of the BITCH- A 100% Grenache.
It would be nice to split a bottle of this wine with a hot bitch and a pizza- I mean a bitch and a hot pizza- I mean a bottle of BITCH, a lady, and a pizza that’s best served hot… Meaning it needs some food to absorb the acidity and bitterness… I’m getting a headache... from myself or this wine, I’m not quite sure…
This wine reminds me a lot of the Sicilian FRAPPATO we serve at the outstanding Italian restaurant I bartend at- TERRONI (www.Terroni.ca).
Frappato is an indigenous grape of Sicily. It’s a light and crisp red often served chilled with fish. Like this Grenache, it captures a variety of flavors- cherry fruit, floral, and clove- which is amazing for such a crisp and light wine… This wine would also be nice with fish...
On the back of the bottle they claim that the wine is called BITCH because it offers an outlet for us to “bitch bitch bitch...” I think that's just a marketing ploy and that what really happened is they tasted the first vintage and simply thought... This wine is a BITCH. It’s a selfish, sexy, young, fresh, vibrant, self absorbed, shallow, and fleshy, actress in her mid twenties, tasty BITCH…
This wine is a BITCH and that’s why they call it BITCH and for ten bucks, this BITCH ain’t bad for those of you, MEN AND WOMEN, who like light and fruity wines.
Stay tuned for info on the company that imports this sexy wine…
Now to the taste…
Wow. This is different. So fresh, light, and fruity. It’s quite tasty. The BITCH must be loved by bitches the world over. It’s sweet, but not too sweet. It’s crisp and fresh.
There’s some surprising body, too- a nice fleshiness that holds this skinny bitch together.
The tastes of wild strawberries, kirshwasser (cherry brandy), red licorice, and pink lollypops are followed with a nice dry and bitter potpourri in the finish.
With all of these interesting flavor notes, however, the wine suffers from an unripe tartness. Maybe that’s part of the glory of this grape… I’m thinking it would be good with Jane Fonda diet food from the 1980s, like bologna slices rolled around globs of cottage cheese.
Overall, it’s just too much of a tart, hard candy bitch for my blood. But for those that like crisp, light, and fruity red wines, there is something to it... There is flavor and finish. A nice aperitif, but maybe not such a great bottle of wine to break bread with.
In the post PC and post feminist spirit of the day, I’m just gonna come out and say it again... The BITCH is for BITCHES, but no doubt interesting BITCHES… and with 15% alcohol content, it’s guaranteed to loosen bitches up, too… So have a glass…
I know that all women don’t like light and fruity wines, but anyone who has worked behind a bar as much as I have will agree that many of them do... Meanwhile, my mom is a die-hard Cab and Syrah drinker… The chewier, the better…
Back to the wine….
Grenache is not an easy grape to grow. Often blended with wines in Spain and the Southern Rhone, to “brighten them up”... It’s mainly in Australia that the Grenache has taken in such a way that it produces wines that hold their own as either the dominant grape in a blend or as in the case of the BITCH- A 100% Grenache.
It would be nice to split a bottle of this wine with a hot bitch and a pizza- I mean a bitch and a hot pizza- I mean a bottle of BITCH, a lady, and a pizza that’s best served hot… Meaning it needs some food to absorb the acidity and bitterness… I’m getting a headache... from myself or this wine, I’m not quite sure…
This wine reminds me a lot of the Sicilian FRAPPATO we serve at the outstanding Italian restaurant I bartend at- TERRONI (www.Terroni.ca).
Frappato is an indigenous grape of Sicily. It’s a light and crisp red often served chilled with fish. Like this Grenache, it captures a variety of flavors- cherry fruit, floral, and clove- which is amazing for such a crisp and light wine… This wine would also be nice with fish...
On the back of the bottle they claim that the wine is called BITCH because it offers an outlet for us to “bitch bitch bitch...” I think that's just a marketing ploy and that what really happened is they tasted the first vintage and simply thought... This wine is a BITCH. It’s a selfish, sexy, young, fresh, vibrant, self absorbed, shallow, and fleshy, actress in her mid twenties, tasty BITCH…
This wine is a BITCH and that’s why they call it BITCH and for ten bucks, this BITCH ain’t bad for those of you, MEN AND WOMEN, who like light and fruity wines.
Stay tuned for info on the company that imports this sexy wine…
Thanks for reading...
-Kurt
3 comments:
I entertain by picking brains
Sell my soul by dropping names
I don't like those, my god, whats that
Oh its full of nasty habits when the bitch gets back
(oh oh oh...Sir Elton says the BITCH is back, stone cold sober as a matter of fact.)
this is a most tasty entertaining read sir haas, entices one to want to sip and swirl the Bitch!
The thought if drinking the BITCH makes me feel like I already have a bad hangover after a night out swimming in nicco wafers and candy hearts.
You had me laugihing out loud...
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